What a month....!

Wow! This last month has been a very busy one! I'm finally better after 3 weeks of horrible illness. And I have news! My son is getting married! To a beautiful girl, who is beautiful on the inside and out. She's not LDS, and that makes me sad, but...it's not up to me is it? I worry so much about my son. And sometimes I disassociate myself from my feelings because I get so worried that it affects me in my daily life. I get really depressed and down. But I love him SO much. And I know he loves me too. The other night, he called me because he got a really bad sunburn at the beach and he was itching so badly that he couldn't sleep. He wanted to know what could help him. I told him that he should go to the store and get some hydrocortisone cream. He went and couldn't find any so he got some Hemmorroid Cream. Funny huh!? He googled it and it actually DOES help with sunburns! It made me feel good that he still calls me when something is wrong and he wants his Mom.
My daughter has moved out the house and is now living in Boulder. She's my second worry...I don't know why my oldest two have such issues but they do. They are also from my first marriage. My husband has been their father since they were very little. Like 1 and 2 years of age. I would've thought that they wouldn't have the issues they have, but they really struggle with things. They both know the gospel is true, but they both don't want to live with "RULES" of the Gospel. The rest of the kids aren't like that. I mean, we have struggles with them, but it's the normal struggles of teenagers. They aren't trying to rebel as strongly as my oldest two. I don't know...They are both pretty good kids...they just don't want to go to church or follow the teachings they were raised with. Maybe it's because they had SO much responsibility when they were teenagers. I was pregnant ALL the time and I couldn't deal with a lot. They had to help out a LOT. I know they resented that. And I don't blame them for that at all. I would've resented it too!
They are on my mind ALL the time...

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah! Chase's birthday was on April 1st. He's such a good little boy. What am I saying? He's a huge boy! He towers above everyone by a head and shoulders. He's always been at the 90 percentile and above. He's really a gentle soul inside. He's extremely sensitive and doesn't like anyone to be upset with him. Sometimes he yells at his little bros. and sisters, but I can tell you that he came by it from his Dad and I. I have struggled with it forever. My Mom was a yeller when I was little. She stopped later on, but I continued the tradition unfortunately. I don't do it very often anymore. I have to be REALLY angry to yell now. Kelvin stuggles a little bit with it. I think it's due to his Diabetes. He never yelled before that. Either that or it was the 10 kids. It tends to wear you down. I don't regret having any one of my children. I love them all dearly. But I'm not going to lie, it has been a difficult thing for us. I look at some families and wonder how they do it. I struggle EVERY day. I DO want to stand before my Father and be able to say that I did my best. But I need to do better...
Here's some pics of the day that Chase received his Arrow of Light. It is the ONLY award that you can get during Cubscouts that will go with him to Boy Scouts. I am so pleased with him. I want to say proud, but you really aren't supposed to be prideful. So...I am well-pleased with my son and his desire to do what's right.

My parents were here visiting and we were so happy they could come and see Chase get his Arrow of Light.

Kelvin's parents were also able to attend since they live here. And Chase's oldest Brother Shawn is to the far right.


Joseph and Emma are graduating from preschool this next month. They are so cute! And so different. Emma is such a good little girl. She has her moments, everyone does, but for the most part, she is the sweetest little thing. Always trying to be good. And Joseph is the exact opposite!! LOL! He's a sweetheart but man does he get into a LOT of trouble!! He likes to hit his sisters, and so he has to sit in his room for quite a while. He also likes to say bad words. Anything to get attention. Good or bad. He loves to cuddle with Mom too. (So why is it that he also likes to be mean to me too?) He gets a Nintendo DS and climbs up next to me and puts my arm around him and then he settles in to play! I love that. Here's a picture of Joseph and Emma in their caps and gowns. I took a picture of the picture! Aren't they adorable!

Here's another one of them without the cap and gown. Again, I took a pic of the pictture!



Brynleigh is my little snugglebug. She's my youngest. I can now see why you could be closest to your youngest! You don't want them to grow up! You know you aren't having any more so you hang on to EVERY moment that you have. When she is being hurtful I tell her she is hurting my heart. She now tells me that she loves my heart. So cute. If I say a sharp word to her, her heart is broken and she falls to the ground or runs away to cry her heart out. Then she comes back to see if I'm concerned about it. I have to say it cracks me up. She hates when I'm upset with her. I tell her that I love her no matter what, even when she's being naughty. I think that that comforts her. Of course, we have to go through all the "I'm sorry" too. And the Time-outs if it continues. She usually doesn't have too many time-outs. She's a pretty good little girl who is SLIGHTLY spoiled...

Here's some photos of the kids with their Easter buckets. We made sure the Easter Bunny came on Saturday. They were happy to have them early. Tanner and Laura were still on the Pioneer Trek, so they got their bucket later.


Binny-bam-boozle




Emma



Joseph



Kaidan



Chase and McKenna wouldn't want me to put their pics up right now. I forget to get Laura and Tanners pictures up because they got home from the trek and we were talking about that and Easter buckets were secondary. They had so much fun on the Trek. They had to wear clothing from back when the pioneers crossed the plains, and push handcarts with their belongings. I'm so glad they had so much fun! I love when they enjoy things that are good for your character. LOL!

Oh yeah, and Beth is graduating this next month too. I'll have to get her picture up here too. She dyed her hair black. Not gonna lie, the first time I saw it I thought she looked like a vampire. She's so fair and black is SO dark! After a while you get used to it. I hope she changes it back soon though. I miss her VERY beautiful strawberry blond hair.

So, there ya go...busy here. Tomorrow I'm going to Cali to visit my Mom and my Sister. I'm excited and dreading it too. I think the dreading part is due to my depression, but I'm forcing myself to go and I know I'll have fun! Ciao!